I really should try to get my blog posts done in the morning. I had several ideas — and the words — before lunch time, but other things to do. The afternoon was spent at the oral surgeon’s (my mother’s surgery/extraction is set for Wednesday morning), helping my mother with her rehab exercises and then walking Quigley. Then there was dinner and coming up with an estimate of next year’s medical expenditures (and here I’ve been writing about the fallacy of trying to predict things; admittedly just estimating the costs of the same things I’ll use next year that I used this year isn’t really “predicting”) and now I feel mentally incapable of doing much more than setting down this list of activities.
One thing I have been doing though, is contemplating the central point of recent lessons, ie, who I am in Christ. What He’s made me to be. Righteous. Royal. An Ambassador. In union with the creator of the universe. Perhaps I’ve already blogged about this, but can it be repeated too often? Part of that contemplation extends to my tendency to live my list of things to do. I know I’ve mentioned that before — where my thinking becomes consumed with the list of activities I have to do, and no matter what I’m doing, I’m thinking about how I have to hurry and get done so I can do the next thing. All the while intimidating myself with warnings of the — usually unspecified — disasters that will befall me should I fail to get everything done.
Well, that’s all guilt and fear and bondage, when that’s not at all why Jesus died for me. Not to live like that, but to live in freedom. I’m already perfect in His sight. Nothing I do will change that. It won’t make me better, it won’t make me worse. So… what difference does it make what I get done today? Really. What difference? If I do absolutely nothing He’ll still conform me to the image of His son.
So I’ve been stopping myself from the list thing, and turning my focus onto who I am, as I said. Instead of the dreaded list, my tasks have changed into activities the Lord has selected for me to do for His glory and also for my benefit. And often for my pleasure, if I’ll just slow down and realize it.
As I’ve said before, the important thing isn’t to get things done, it’s to live for my Lord and Savior. To stay in fellowship, to live in the peace that Christ died for me to have. Everything the Lord leads me to do has purpose. And all the worries about the things that didn’t get done, can be laid right back on Him. And He has promised to provide everything I need.
“Sing praises to our God on the lyre, who covers the heavens with clouds, who provides rain for the earth, who makes grass to grow on the mountains. He gives the beast his food… He does not delight in the strength of the horse; He does not take pleasure in the legs of man (running about doing stuff). The Lord favors those who respect Him, those who wait for his lovingkindness (grace) ” ~Psalm 147:7-11
It’s so hard to let go when the bondage feels good and empowering and the freedom seems too scary. I’m glad God knows exactly where to place the pressure so that I can’t use my own power and have to learn how to use His.
Amen. I also liked what Pastor Joe taught tonight about how when you really start living in freedom others (or sometimes our own flesh) accuse you of being irresponsible, divorced from reality, flaky, lazy, not doing “due diligence,” etc. With each passing day as I try to apply these principles, I am increasingly aghast at all the forces arrayed against them.