Well, I came home for a couple of hours, mostly to see Quigley and use the computer. A couple of hours isn’t enough. I did Bible class… what with my having no computer and with the snowstorms stopping class at the source, I’ve REALLY missed it. I’ve been doing random lessons on my mp3 player or going over notes, but I really miss hearing the voice and the discipline of listening to a class. Anyway, when it was over, after a bit, Quigley came in to jump in my lap and let me love on him a bit. I miss him a lot. In the other house I keep thinking I hear him, then realize I don’t because he’s not there.
Interestingly, God seems to be giving me the message that it’s time to stop doing what I’m doing. I’ve been thinking about it. One of the therapists told me it was time for me to get back to living my own life, that I can’t keep doing this. My mother doesn’t think she needs any one to come in and help her, though she knows she can’t prepare any real meals for herself… I again suggested she hire someone to do that, but she refuses. The occupational therapist asked, “Why should she do that when she has you?”
Then a friend pointed me in a similar direction, and just now listening to last night’s (Friday night’s) lesson, suddenly pastor in the midst of teaching about being vessels of mercy took us to Song of Solomon 1:6, where the Shulamite woman is lamenting the fact that she’s been burned by the sun… sun representing the work and labor we do here on earth underneath it. The work has burned her out. Others have made her take care of their vineyards and she hasn’t made time to care for her own. This is a picture of believers getting burnt out from serving others — because they’re not setting aside enough time to serve or nourish themselves through the intake of doctrine, prayer and fellowship with God.
To some degree that’s been true, because I’m living in a very strange circumstance right now, but I have been, as I said, doing some form of study every day. But more startling than that was that in the course of teaching this section Pastor said, “By the way, there is nothing wrong with stepping down from any of your responsibilities. Nothing whatsoever.”
The neuropathy continues to be the main problem, in her feet and hands, but we have hope the infrared (anodyne) treatments will help. They have already made a difference, but unfortunately it’s been mostly in an increase in pain. Supposedly this will peak and relief will be found on the other side. That could happen this week. I don’t know what difference that will make.
In any case, my time here has run out, so I have to sign off. I have been leaving her more and more this last week, so perhaps I’ll be back home to add a bit more to this update.
Thanks for all the prayers and support and suggestions. I appreciate it.
Karen, my prayers continue. I loved where the Holy Spirit took Pastor Bob last Friday. There are times when each of us feels the burden of burn out. How awesome to have our Pastor guided to give us the message to care for self first. Our souls must be nourished with His doctrines.