The Post that Wasn’t

Well, I’ve been trying to finish up a post for today and it’s not happening. I think I’m too tired to make the thoughts come together. What I’ve written is seeming increasingly disjointed, and that’s telling me I’m too tired and need to give it up. At least for today.

Instead, I’ll just report that I’m continuing with my little routine of 15 minute tasks, though today’s stint of actually working with Sky went for about an hour and a half. I’ve upped that portion of the routine to 30 minutes and so far, not too bad.

I read some really cool stuff in my old journal as well. It pretty well describes how I felt today:

“Even the tenuous concepts I’d begun to develop have been shattered by these new questions. Questions I don’t seem able to answer. And then I begin to shrink away even from thinking of the questions. I don’t want to open the door and see all that chaos. I don’t even begin to know how to put it into order…”

Yup, that’s how I felt today. But I also came across another entry that was backed up by something I read online to the effect that I have to be patient. That it’s unrealistic to expect it all to come together easily and quickly. I need to just relax and trust the process, something I’ve never done well.  But after six books you’d think I might have reason to trust. To just keep going back to the work, not demanding that I come to a decision today, or that it all fall into place, just keep coming back, keep reading, and thinking and eventually, things will gel.

And now it’s after ten and I need to go to bed. Still have ironing to do… 🙁


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