Well, my sister left for New Mexico last Thursday (the 17th), so I’ve been back to taking care of my mother on my own. “Taking care” is an overstatement. Mostly I’ve been checking in once a day (in person), talking to the two therapists who’ve been coming (on alternate days), paying bills and doing small things that need doing. Mostly she’s been doing well, getting her own meals, taking her meds, even drinking her 8 glasses of water, cleaning up, etc.
Exercising hasn’t been going so well for us, though. Her physical therapist wanted her to take a walk down the street all last week, but she kept refusing. On Saturday, though, she agreed to go with me to the grocery store when I did her shopping. She walked using the cart for a support and while originally I’d envisioned her walking only one or two aisles, she ended up walking through the whole store and only sat down once we’d reached the checkout. She said she felt fine.
But it was too much and she paid for it the next two days with painful feet and legs. Also, her back has started hurting again as a result of yet another fall she took when my sister was here — no passing out this time, she just decided to reach down and pet my sister’s rabbit and lost her balance. She’s not been using the walker or even the cane. If she needs support, she uses furniture, counters, the walls, etc.
We aren’t sure what to do about the back. It may be a result of misalignment of the spine due to the compression fractures. I guess if it keeps bothering her, we’ll have to call the primary care again…
I have really had it with the parade of doctors. I think since January she’s been under the care of 17 different doctors or physician’s assistants. All with their own idea of how things ought to be done. I am not eager to go back to yet another (if we have to see someone who specializes in back issues) for an 18th viewpoint…
Beyond that, though, things are starting to acquire a bit of normalcy. I went back to doing some of the Flylady.net system again about a month ago, figuring, finally, that I needed to come up with a morning routine to complete before I went off to help my mother. That way the basic necessities are done before I leave the house and get sidetracked with other issues, or end up too tired to make myself do any house chores once I get back home.
I think I’m starting to get it, too. I’ve got an existing morning routine that I’ve been doing for awhile, to the point it’s definitely become a habit. I can get up, get dressed, wipe down the bathroom, make the bed, start a load of laundry, dust mop the floor and do tricks with Quigley without hardly thinking about it. (One of the disadvantages I’ve found with that is that I end up thinking I haven’t done anything, even when I have). However there are a few other things I’d like to incorporate, but so far they’ve always seemed to fall by the wayside after breakfast.
But now I’m seeing the importance of adding only one new habit at a time and giving it a good month to get set. I’m also appreciating the importance of setting things up the night before. If I get to sleep early, then I’m not so inclined to lie in bed past my ideal wake-up time in the morning, nor too tired to keep myself from getting sidetracked. In fact, I’ve even been waking early enough to even do a bit of morning pages.
I’ve been using my timers for fifteen minute intervals on a lot of things, even writing. Yes, I’ve actually, finally been working my way back to Sky. I haven’t yet figured out exactly what my hours on that will be, but I’m also not demanding that I do so, either. I’m still in the learning and observing stage. And today I learned that when I don’t get to bed early enough, I end up too tired to use the late afternoon hours well.
And I’m thinking too, as I mentioned that not enough sleep might also contribute to my sometimes breath-taking distractibility. For example, I may start out eating breakfast, then open my journal to write, then decide to go into the bed room to get a pen, but, looking at my rubber stamps on the desk decide to stamp something into the journal, which necessitates looking for the proper stamp, and the proper ink, then in looking for a stamp I find something that needs fixing and start to work on that until I have to go to another room for another tool… and maybe 45 minutes later I return to breakfast, which is now utterly cold. And what happened to the morning?
So I’ve been doing less of that, but getting a clearer picture of why I do it. And since, as I said, one of the reasons is that I don’t get to bed early enough, I’ve been trying to address that. Which is partly why I’ve not done as many blog posts as I’d like lately. My new rule is to turn off the computer by 9:3opm, and since more often that I’d like to admit that’s been my start time for writing a blog post, it’s taken a bit of adjusting to get back to blogging before then.
And since I’ve just noted the time and see I only have 15 minutes to finish up here, guess I’ll end this post now. I still have to stretch before I can go to bed…
I’m a Flybaby too and have been getting back into my routines but something crossed my mind when I read the part about distractibility. I lost a very close family member a month ago (my aunt who was like a second mother to me) and I have struggled to stay focused since that happened. I think when we are carrying extra burdens – be it grief or in your case, caring for you mother – it takes a physical and mental toll on us. It’s almost like physically carrying a pack on my back. And while it’s getting easier for me, it seems like this is for you, a season of life. Give yourself permission to be less organized and tell yourself that your priorities are right where they should be! I commend you for taking care of your mother. I pray I will be as willing when my time comes.
Ah…earlier bedtime. That’s something I need to work on! It’s so easy to stay up once the kids are down for the night because it’s free-brain time for me and my husband. Unfortunately I pay for it in the morning….
Loved the pictures of your birthday flowers! My birthday was Monday the 21st 🙂 . Hope you had a terrific day.
Since you are a writer, I will ask. Do you have an agent? I have written a couple of stories. One for children which I plan to make a series and another “slice of life” story about a woman who is visiting her father in a nursing home. He is dying of Alzheimer’s.
How does one go about getting an agent other than looking on websites and publications?
I know the Lord will lead me in the right direction. Perhaps this was part of it.